


They Swing Around Staffs and Swords

by AnimusLight



Series: Adventures of Haven and Skyhold [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Childish, Dirty Jokes, F/M, Friendship, I am so sorry, Immaturity, M/M, Stupidity, dirty - Freeform, terrible sneaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2772263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimusLight/pseuds/AnimusLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mahanon Lavellan is a dirty dirty immature man child. With him, is Sera, his partner in crime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Swing Around Staffs and Swords

**Author's Note:**

> I will apologize now. I AM SO SORRY! I HAD TO! IT WILL BOTHER ME TO NO END!  
> Also Ellana and Mahonon are the default elf names, Herah is default female quanari name, and Edric default dwarf.

The roof above Skyhold’s huge garden was surprisingly stable to walk and sit on.

Mahanon watches the five mages in amusement with Cole and Sera accompanying him.

The group of mages were comparing their staffs and conversing about magic. Nothing that Mahanon could understand. Sera glowers, “Why’re we watching this, again? Mister stick-up-his-arse is speaking to elfy for me to want to watch this and the bitch is with him. And why is the spirit guy with us?”

“Close your eyes and shut up,” whispers Mahanon. He always found this amusing, dirty as it is, back at his clan. It never felt right when it was only the Keeper and Ellana speaking about it but now there is a group of mages that he can listen to.

He glances over to Sera and Cole. Sera scrutches up her eyes and waits patiently for the thing they have been waiting for.  Cole, on the other hand, had his eyes closed but Mahanon could tell he was very puzzled. The spirit asks, “I do not understand. Why are we doing this?”

“Shhhh,” hushes Mahanon.

“Dorian, stop swinging that staff like some barbaric fool.” “Oh Vivienne, the thought of me being barbaric? I am so offended.” “Quiet you both, I am teaching Ellana the effects of having a bigger staff compared to a smaller one.” “The staff must always have good grip, kadan.” “Herah, may you please stop poking your staff at the back of my knees?” “Kadan, I am only helping you in your fighting stance.” “Solas, is it supposed to shoot out like that?” “That is peculiar.” “Herah, it seems your staff is bigger and wider than mine.” “May I see yours? ... It is very light.” “How do you wield yours- wait don’t even answer that.”

Sera bursts out into laughter while clutching her stomach. “I still do not understand,” comments Cole. “They are speaking about staffs.”

“But that’s the thing! _Staffs!_ That was a good one!” giggles Sera.

Mahanon pats Cole’s shoulder, “In time, _falon_. In time, you will get it. Though you’d probably not think of it as funny because Sera and I are pretty immature.”

Sera sticks out her tongue, “You’re the kid-ish one to even suggests this. But still- _staffs_! Hah!” She does another fit of laughter. “Think about this- _swords_. Long swords being swung around. Now we must spy on Commander Uptight when he does his speech on keeping their _swords_ clean. Haaaaa!”

“Mahanon!” yells Ellana. “Stop putting impure thoughts into Cole!” Her face blushes a shade of red.

“Haha, you got scowled at by the lil sis.”

“You too, Sera!”

Dorain calls out, “Amatus, you can’t object that you like _my staff_ the most.” Mahanon chokes on air and his face copying his sister’s. He glares at Dorian for making him embarrassed who only grins in return. Mahanon retreats. Sera pouts, “You’re goin down just like that? Ah damnit.” She shouts to Dorian, “We will return, evil magister! For revenge!” She drags Cole from behind as she follows the retreating Mahanon.

Dorian smirks to his tiny victory; if only the elf was more like that often. Herah shakes her head at Ellana, “Your brother is growing more obnoxious by the day.”

“I blame Sera’s influence- or possibly, Dorian’s.”

The Tevinter mage pouts, “Hey!”

 

* * *

 

 

Commander Cullen does his weekly inspection on the preparedness of the troops in Haven. He did not want another Haven happening. The sound of snickering could be heard in the bushes.

_“Swords_ , he’s say’in. ‘You don’t want them getting _old quickly_ ’ Kehehe. ‘You must polish them’.”

Mahanon’s grin turns into a frown, “I don’t want to know what he uses his sword for.”

“Bang’in yah sis- ow! Why’ yah hit me!”

Cullen coughs to interrupt them; he stands in front of their bush. Cole looks at the man eye-wide and gestures the two elfs to the man. “Well….shit,” mutters Mahanon.

“Every man for himself!” yells Sera as she darts out of the terrible hiding place. Cole just disappears.

Mahanon was like a deer caught in a hunter’s trap for a few seconds until he bolts after Sera.

 

* * *

 

 

The Ironbull jokes with Edric Cadash about past stories and old one night stands. The dwarf notices the presence of two elves trying to listen in on their conversation. He motions to Bull but there was no need as the Bull winks at him.

“She took the hilt with two hands. It was way too big for her. She comments, ‘Bull, what a huge sword you have.’”

Mahonon’s eye wide at the very alluding description. He couldn’t drink from the mug he was holding without choking on the beverage.

“She nervously told me she was a man underneath but a woman at heart. I didn’t care. She was a warrior in my eyes. We had a great time swinging our _swords_ -“

Sera spits out what she was drinking, “Pfft- Damn! Some plot twist!” Unfortunately, most of the drink sprayed at Mahonon. He wipes his face in disgust. “Oops.”

Edric falls out of his chair laughing at the two elves. Bull chugs down the last of his beverage with a satisfied grin.


End file.
